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Teens need families

Thousands of teens in foster care are looking for the love, support, and encouragement that families provide throughout their lives—not just until they turn 18

  • Family means someone who can love each other unconditionally no matter what! Alissa, age 15.
  • Family means home. It means forever connected. I would love to be adopted by whatever family accepts me as their own. Alysa, age 15. View profile.
  • I like to play games, and UNO is my favorite. I like to go shopping and to the movies. Antinyah, age 16.
  • (I want) someone who cares about me and gives me lots of game time! Blaiz, age 13. View profile.
  • (Family is) someone who is caring, nice, and loves you, and lives on a farm with tractors. Bryar, age 16. View profile.
  • A family is people who love me for who I am, not for who they want me to be. I have a lot of love to give to the right person. Caleb, age 18. View profile.
  • Family makes me feel loved because they are nice. Family means a loving parent. Chloe, age 7. View pro file.
  • Family is people who take care of you and know you are going to love them no matter what. Christopher, age 14.
  • I want to wake up, go to school, come back, do my homework, and then be with my family who wants to do stuff together. Daemian, age 15. View profile.
  • (Family) means someone who looks after me, plays games with me, and can teach me how to skateboard. Dalton, age 15.
  • Family means you have strong bonds, stick together, and communicate. You believe in and trust each other. David, age 14.
  • I would like people to know that I’m caring and that my favorite subject is math. Drake, age 16.
  • I would like to someday attend college and become a scientist finding medicines that cure cancer. Edward, age 15. View profile.
  • Family means being together and having support for the future. It means respecting and caring for one another. Fahima, age 17.
  • A family means having people who are there for me even on a bad day. A family will teach me new things and help me in my life. Halo, age 13.
  • I am funny, brave, and really fun. Issak, age 13. View profile.
  • Family is people who love and care for each other. Jack, age 14. View profile.
  • Family takes care of you, understands you, and won’t judge you. They love you even if you have a difficult past. Janeisha, age 17.
  • Family means people who look out for each other and take care of each other. Jaydan, age 14. View profile.
  • Family is people who match your energy and support your growth. It’s built on honesty and shared goals. Joshua, age 15.
  • Family means someone who can be there for me and I can be there for them. Joshua, age 13. View profile.
  • Family is everything. Kayla, age 17. View profile.
  • My one wish is to be adopted by a family who would love me and care when I’m having hard times. Kiki, age 15. View profile.
  • I really want a family to adopt me. Family means love and hope, being together forever, and helping each other. Kuea, age 15. View profile.
  • You can come to family with really sensitive stuff and be able to discuss it, and they help you work through it. Larus, age 17.
  • (Family) means a lot. (Family) means friendly, sweet, thankful. (Family) is for loving. They always care for kids. Leeland, age 14. View profile.
  • I want a place where I belong. Doesn’t everybody want that? Leila, age 16. View profile.
  • I would like a home that is fun, safe, loving, and feels like home. Sammy, age 16. View profile.
  • Family is who always cares and has my back, and I have found my perfect family. Skye, age 18.
  • I wish I had a family to play football and go fishing with. Tanner, age 17.
  • Family is a mom, a dad, younger siblings, and animals! I want a family who is loving and lives on a farm! Timberlie, age 14. View profile.
  • We teens might be harder to get to know, but we are worth it. We deserve and want to feel loved, too. Tristan, age 13. View profile.
  • I want a loving family who enjoys fun times but is ready for challenging times, who stays loyal and won’t give up on me. Violetta, age 17.
 

This year, more than 20,000 young people will leave foster care without a family. Many of them will not have anyone they can call for help, for advice, for a ride when their car breaks down.

It’s disturbing, but probably not surprising, that outcomes for youth who age out of foster care are often poor. Studies show that they are at increased risk for homelessness, young parenthood, low educational attainment, high unemployment rates, and other adverse adult outcomes.

The good news is that it only takes one person to improve these odds for a young person. If you think that person might be you, read on!

Why should I adopt a teen? Are they really looking for a family?

As we all know, you never outgrow the need for a family. Everyone needs a sense of belonging.

Through adoption, older children are connected to a family that can provide a sense of stability, lasting connections, and guidance with important life tasks—including enrolling in higher education, finding stable housing, securing employment, and establishing healthy relationships.

Do teens have a say in their adoption? How do I know if a teen wants to be adopted?

Yes! Almost every state has a requirement that youth of a certain age provide consent to be adopted. The age varies by state. Fourteen is the most common consent age, but many states require youth as young as ten to consent to adoption. Many parents have told us that adopting a teen has the added reward of knowing that not only did you choose them to be their child, they chose you to be their parents.

We really want to watch a child grow up and share important milestones with them—like their first steps.

You may not be there when they lose their first tooth or take the training wheels off their bike for the first time, but there are plenty of firsts to experience with a teen—first date, learning to drive, first job interview.

And, while teens have a lot to learn from you, they’ll teach you a lot too.

 

Image from Atlantic magazine ad
Parents and teens talk about the rewards of adoption and what they’ve learned in this Atlantic magazine feature.

What kind of support will our family get after adopting a teen?

A lot!

Many states and organizations provide financial assistance to children who are in foster care or who were adopted. Youth who were adopted from the foster care system when they are 16 or older may be able to access Education and Training Vouchers (ETV) of up to $5,000 per year. Those who were adopted from foster care when they are 13 or older are more likely to qualify for federal financial student aid because they don’t have to count family income when applying.

When it comes to medical and mental health benefits, qualifying families may receive federally funded monthly maintenance payments, medical assistance, and other support, often until a child turns 18 or 21, depending on the state where they live.

Learn more about educational assistance and medical and mental health benefits at the Child Welfare Information Gateway website.

I’m not ready to commit. Are there other ways to help?

Yes! Spending time with a teen in your community—as a mentor, Big Brother or Big Sister, CASA volunteer, or tutor at your local library or community center—is not only a great way to help a teen, it could help you decide whether fostering or adopting an older child is right for you.

There are many ways you can help, and at least one child who will be glad you did.

Things to do next:

 

Sources of foster care statistics:

 

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