Manny
Two years old, crying, lonely and scared to be thrust into a complex world of foster care. I barely knew my name and was forced to give up the eternal bond with my biological mother and father due to them having me in their mid teenage years. Completely devastating to the development of any child born into this situation. Children develop so much in the early part of their lives. We learn how to talk, walk, trust, cuddle and love. I was not able to experience all these joys with the parents who created me. Looking back I must have felt an eternal disconnect with my biological parents. I had no choice in the matter. It was like I didn’t even exist. Reflecting back I can only imagine what my little body was going through physiologically and psychologically. Our early childhood shapes the person we are to become. Early traumas and disconnect can be devastating to a child’s future development.
The early years of my childhood are a blur on purpose. I just remember feeling like an outsider. My foster family had 5 older children and one younger than me. I always felt different, starting with the fact that we looked nothing alike. So every day I would see people who did not look like me. How was I supposed to trust this new family and new surroundings? I was a small fish in a big pond. Everything was brand new to me. My mother, father, brothers and sisters. In this new house I must have felt overwhelmed. This would be my resting place for the next 20 years. My foster mother also had a daycare for many years in the home. She would babysit other children in the community. When the other kids were around I didn’t feel so alone. The fact that they were different made me feel better. I didn’t feel like the only outsider.
I was a very hyperactive child with a bad attitude. I would “Hulk” out whenever someone made me angry, which was the majority of the time. As a foster child I struggled with trust, love, depression, anger, loneliness and abandonment issues. These struggles manifested in anger, which resulted in outbursts and rage. I would typically fight fire with fire. I would get a beating with a switch or belt for being bad. Then I would respond with fits of rage and yelling hurtful comments like: “you’re not my real parents”, “I hate you”, “I am leaving”, and “I don’t love you”. There were a lot of challenges early on. It took years to get over the anger, depression, and low self-esteem. These things haunted me up into my adult years.
Manny “Bumper” Howard is a graduate of Radnor High School and West Chester University. He received a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Exercise Science. He is currently seeking a Masters Degree in Education at Eastern University. Mr. Howard believes that faith, family, education and great health are the most important keys to battling life’s challenges. He has overcome many obstacles during his 16 years in foster care to become an entrepreneur, educator, youth pastor and nationally recognized motivational speaker. Mr. Howard has spoken to children on behalf of Senator Arlen Specter’s office (Mentoring Program), Department of Human Services( Life Skills Program), Valley Forge Military Academy and College, Chester County Youth Services, Lancaster Youth Detention Center, ECS/Ways (Southern California) and the Pennsylvania Child Welfare Training Program. Mr. Howard previously owned a successful fitness business on the Main line (Delaware/Montgomery County) where he provided in home personal training, nutrition counseling, coaching and fitness seminars. He has often been referred to as the “Black” Pat Croce, and is proud to hold that title because he has read Mr. Croce’s books and admires his leadership and entrepreneurial talents. Mr. Howard has also spent many years educating and inspiring some of the toughest youth in the Philadelphia Metropolitan Area. He currently is the Founder/CEO of M Howard Consulting. His purpose is to empower everyone he meets by encouraging them to reach their dreams and desire to have hope for a future in their lives.
Call: (610) 203-4595 speaking engagements, trainings and workshops or email: manuelhwrd@yahoo.com